In my role as a coach and speaker, I provide people with the simple tools to clearly see how the choices they’re making are directly impacting the quality of their relationships and their lives.
In essence, I provide people with the simple tools necessary to create the lives they say they want. Then, I hold up a mirror and allow them to see how their actions are shaping their world.
What people say they want, and the changes they’re willing to make to achieve their desires are often very different. In my fourteen years of coaching, it doesn’t take me long to assess who’s willing to put in the time and energy to make those changes, versus those who would rather just sit around and complain about their lives.
By the way, before I work with anyone, I always disclose that I’m NOT a dentist; and I don’t pull teeth for a living. I quickly follow that up by stating, “If you don’t want your life to change, do NOT hang out with me!”
I say that because I’m in a unique position to share what others often won’t risk telling you. For instance, take these two Simple Truths:
- People Don’t Want to Hear Your Negativity. Yes, they might listen for a while; however, eventually they’ll get tired of you and your constant complaining. Rarely will someone just come out and tell you the truth. Instead, they’ll often just stop calling and eventually disappear. The hard truth they won’t risk telling you is, “Your negativity is toxic and I’m tired of being around you.” Yes, I know that’s harsh, and it’s also the truth. Today, if you’re wondering what’s happened to some of your friendships or family members, dare to ask yourself, “Am I a complainer, grumbler, or an otherwise negative person?” Just listen to yourself. Try this Simple Tool: For one week, commit to speaking only when you have something uplifting, encouraging or positive to say. You just might be surprised by how quiet you are.
- If It Doesn’t Concern You, Stay Out of It. Stop wasting your precious energy and time dwelling on things that are simply none of your business. If something doesn’t concern you directly–stay out of it. Bad habits can develop quickly. Start paying attention. Most people won’t come out and tell you, “Mind your own business.” It’s up to you to notice when you’re gossiping, when you’re focused on something that doesn’t concern you, or when you’re tempted to take control. Apply this Simple Tool: Get a little bucket and write the words: None-of-My-Business on the outside. When something comes up, stop and ask yourself, “Is this any of my business?” If not, you know where to put it. Write it down and throw it in your bucket.
If you want to improve your relationships, and therefore your life, you must be willing to look at yourself. You must be willing to see how your actions are affecting those around you. I know these two Simple Truths may be hard for you to hear. Look at it this way, I just told you two things most people won’t tell you. It’s up to you to decide if you’ll put them into practice.
If you would like more Simple Truths and Simple Tools to improve your life, check out my book Divine And Perfect Order: 52 Simple Truths, Simple Tools & Simple Words of Wisdom for Your Life.