The Simple Truth is you’ll never be satisfied when you feast on crumbs. When you settle for anything less than God’s best for you, you’ll always feel empty.
I know a lot about this. I felt unsatisfied and empty for years.
There was a time in my life when I didn’t feel I deserved more than the crumbs. My self-esteem was almost non-existent. In fact, it could fit in a thimble with room left over.
Of course, it’s never easy to reflect on that season of my life. And yet, I think it’s important to share that time because too often people see where I am today, and remark that I couldn’t relate to pain or disappointment. That’s the furthest thing from the truth.
The truth is I am where I am today because I chose to stop feasting on crumbs and I chose to stop settling. Albeit, it took me far longer than I care to admit.
Allow me to share what may appear on the onset to be a no-big-deal event, and yet, this incident illustrates my pattern and willingness to settle for the crumbs.
I was twenty-five. It was my birthday. And, for anyone who knows me, my birthday means a lot to me. At any rate, I was dating a man, a man who I would continue to date for many years after this incident occurred. He decided at the last-minute to call and cancel my birthday dinner celebration. He proceeded to explain we could celebrate the following week and simply ‘pretend’ it was my birthday. He canceled because he was too busy working.
I understand things come up; however, since I didn’t speak up and share my disappointment, I taught him it was okay to treat me this way. I set myself up for years of feasting on crumbs.
It was my birthday. And, I allowed someone to change my birthday because it wasn’t convenient for him. No, actually, I allowed it because I was weak and I was afraid.
The point of sharing this story is not to blame him. Rather, it’s to show that I didn’t feel important or worthy enough to express my sheer disappointment. I was afraid he wouldn’t want to continue to date me. I didn’t want to rock the boat. So, I pretended. I pretended it was okay. And, each and every time he disappointed me in the future, I pretended. I pretended it was okay. I chose to feast on the crumbs. Yes, I was that desperate.
Let me ask you, “Where are you feasting on the crumbs?” Is it in your friendships, your job, spiritual life, or perhaps even in your marriage or a dating relationship?”
Please take it from me, if you don’t speak up and communicate your pain and disappointment in a healthy way, you too will set a precedent for more of the same.
I’m convinced God doesn’t want you feasting on the crumbs when you can enjoy the entire pie.